Finding Your Right Therapist: It's Okay to Keep Looking

Starting therapy is a brave and meaningful step toward self-discovery, healing, and growth. But just like finding the right doctor, dentist, or even hairstylist, finding the right therapist is deeply personal and incredibly important. What works for one person may not work for another, and that’s okay.

You're not alone if you’ve ever felt like a therapist wasn’t the right fit. It’s more common than you might think, and it’s absolutely okay to keep looking. It’s a healthy part of the process.

Why the Therapeutic Relationship Matters

Your connection with your therapist is the foundation of your healing work. Therapy becomes a space where real change can happen when that relationship feels safe and supportive. A strong therapeutic relationship helps you feel:

• Safe and comfortable – You can show up fully, without judgment.

• Heard and understood – Your therapist listens and “gets” where you’re coming from.

• Respected and valued – Your identity, culture, and lived experiences are acknowledged and affirmed.

• Empowered – You feel supported in your growth, choices, and goals.

  
  

If any of these elements are missing, opening up or moving forward can be hard. That’s not a reflection of your worth; it’s just a sign that the connection might not be right.

My Own Journey: Finding the Right Fit

Before becoming a therapist, I was a client navigating my healing journey. I worked with a few therapists before I found someone who truly saw and supported me. The others weren’t bad at their jobs, but we didn’t click. I didn’t feel fully understood, and the approaches they used didn’t meet me where I was.

It was frustrating at first, but ultimately empowering. I learned that it’s okay to keep looking until it feels right.

That experience has deeply shaped how I practice today. I understand how vulnerable it can be to seek help, and how important it is to feel safe, seen, and supported. That’s what I strive to offer every client who walks through my (virtual or physical) door.

Signs a Therapist Might Not Be the Right Fit

It’s completely normal to need a few sessions to get a feel for a new therapist. But if something consistently doesn’t feel right, you might want to reassess. Some common signs include:

• You don’t feel comfortable sharing openly.

• You don’t feel heard or understood.

• Their approach doesn’t resonate with your needs or goals (e.g., you’re curious about Somatic Therapy, but they only use CBT).

• You feel dismissed or invalidated in your experiences.

• There’s a lack of cultural sensitivity or awareness of your identity.

  
  

Therapy should never make you feel small. If it does, it’s okay to explore other options.

It’s Okay to Keep Looking

Choosing to move on from a therapist isn’t giving up; it’s advocating for yourself. It doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you; it just means you haven’t found the right person yet. And you deserve support that truly fits.

Tips for Finding the Right Therapist

If you’re still searching for someone who feels like the right match, here are some tips to help:

• Ask for referrals – From your doctor, trusted friends, or local support organizations.

• Start with your gut feeling – If you’d like to explore working together, you can learn more about my counselling approach here or book a free consultation.

• Use therapist directories – You can view my Psychology Today profile here or my ACCT listing here to learn more about my qualifications. You can also explore other therapists using those platforms if you're still finding the right fit.

• Read bios carefully – Look for values, approaches, and language that resonate with your needs.

• Book free consultations – Many therapists (myself included) offer brief chats to see if there’s a good fit.

• Trust your gut – You’ll likely feel it in your body if something is (or isn’t) working.

  
  

You Deserve Support That Feels Right

Therapy is an investment in you. You deserve to feel seen, supported, and affirmed as you explore your story and create the life you want.

If the first (or second, or third) therapist isn’t quite right, don’t give up. Keep going. The right support is out there.

At E.A.S.E. into Therapy, I’m committed to creating a safe, culturally responsive, and affirming space for individuals and couples from all walks of life. I'd love to connect for a free consultation if you’re curious to see if we might be a good match.

“Story stewardship means honoring the sacred nature of story—the ones we share and the ones we hear—and knowing that we’ve been entrusted with something valuable or that we have something valuable that we should treat with respect and care. We are good stewards of the stories we tell by trusting them to people who have earned the right to hear them, and telling them only when we are ready. We are good stewards of the stories we hear by listening, being curious, affirming, and believing people when they tell us how they experienced something.” Brené Brown