Discovering Your Core Values: The Path to Authentic Living
- Debbie Airth
- Mar 7
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 7
Welcome back to the Cultivating Inner Wellness: A Mindful Growth Series. In parts one and two, we’ve explored how self-awareness and journaling can help us reconnect with our inner world, with who we are beneath the noise, the pressure, the pain.
In part three, we turn toward something even more foundational: the values that live at the core of who you are. Your personal truths. Your compass. The quiet voice that whispers, “This matters.”
What Are Core Values (And Why Do They Matter)?
Core values are your deeply held beliefs, principles that reflect what’s most meaningful to you. They guide your decisions, shape your identity, and help you determine what “aligned” actually feels like.
When life feels messy or uncertain, your values can help you come back to yourself.
🌱 Living in alignment with your values brings a sense of integrity, clarity, and purpose.
🌱 Living out of alignment often shows up as restlessness, shame, burnout, or confusion.
Knowing your values isn’t just a self-help exercise; it’s a powerful part of the healing process. When clients reconnect with their values, I often see a softening, a settling. It’s like remembering something you always knew, but forgot how to name.
For me, one of those values is Authenticity. It’s about living and relating from a place of truth, and supporting my clients as they reclaim theirs.
How Values Show Up in Therapy
So many of the therapeutic approaches I use are deeply values-based. Here’s how:
💬 Motivational Interviewing (MI):
MI supports clients in identifying where their current behaviours don’t match their values, and how to gently shift toward alignment. It's a collaborative, empowering process that taps into your own reasons for change.
🧠 Internal Family Systems (IFS):
IFS teaches us that we all have a core Self, wise, compassionate, clear, and that our values live there. Through IFS, clients learn to differentiate their Self from protective or wounded “parts” that may obscure their values. As those parts heal, the 8 Cs (compassion, clarity, calm, curiosity, confidence, courage, creativity, and connectedness) begin to guide life from the inside out.
🌿 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT):
In ACT, values are the foundation for meaningful living. You learn to make room for difficult thoughts and emotions, not because they go away, but because they don’t get to steer the ship. ACT helps clients clarify what matters and take committed action toward a life that feels full and aligned.
How to Identify Your Core Values
Identifying your core values isn’t about choosing the ones that sound best, it’s about tuning in to what feels true for you.
Here are a few ways to begin that reflection:
🔍 Peak Moments
When did you last feel deeply alive, proud, connected, or fulfilled? What values were being honoured in those moments?
🔍 Role Models
Who do you admire, and why? What qualities do they embody that speak to something in you?
🔍 Your Ideal Self
If you were living fully in alignment with your truth, what values would guide your choices?
💡 Common Core Values:
Integrity | Compassion | Courage | Honesty | Creativity | Connection | Growth | Freedom | Kindness | Respect | Justice | Curiosity
Once you’ve explored, try narrowing your list down to 3–5 core values. These are your anchors, the ones that keep you grounded when life gets shaky.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about intention.
Living in Alignment with Your Values
Living your values doesn’t mean you’ll never make mistakes or veer off course. It means you’ll have something to return to, a way to check in with yourself and ask, Does this reflect who I really am?
Sometimes it’s hard to stay aligned, especially when you’re overwhelmed, grieving, caregiving, people-pleasing, or just trying to survive. Be gentle with yourself. Living in integrity also means knowing when to offer yourself compassion, grace, and do-overs.
It’s not about doing it all perfectly.
It’s about doing it honestly.
Your Practice This Week
🌟 Choose 3–5 core values that resonate most with you.
🌟 For each one, write down one small action you can take this week that reflects that value.
Example:
Value: Connection → Call or message a friend and share something real.
Value: Integrity → Be honest in a moment where you usually silence yourself.
Value: Growth → Spend 30 minutes learning something new that excites you.
This is where your healing meets your action. Tiny steps in the direction of your truth.
Resources to Support You
Here are a few free worksheets to support your reflection:
Values Discussion Cards and the Setting Valued Goals worksheets are tools to explore your values further.
The Personal Values: Circles of Influence worksheet helps you explore your most important values with those of family, friends, and society. It can also help you understand how other people influence your values and what values they hold.
Take what resonates. Leave what doesn’t. This is your journey.
A Gentle Reminder
Living from your values is one of the most powerful ways to reclaim your life. When you know what matters most to you, the path forward becomes clearer, even when it’s hard.
If this feels like a new or vulnerable process, that’s okay. You’re not behind. You’re beginning again. And that takes courage.
Starting in Part four, we’ll shift into another theme, navigating stress and anxiety, and how to care for yourself when life feels heavy.
Until then, may you continue finding your way back to what matters.
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